The concept is a generic term. It cannot have just one fixed definition; the concept of love can change often. There is just something very intriguing about romantic love in the eyes of the Western world.
The concept of love is a big part of these people’s imagination. Yet, with love, somehow, everyone justifies irrationality and impracticality.
But of course, there is always a bump somewhere. With love being portrayed as such a pure and likable concept, the idea to technologize love and make money off it is unlikable. Online dating apps and websites are being accused of cheapening the concept of love. That is one serious accusation.
Although these online sites have been accused of commodifying love, scholars such as Nina Varsava say that these sites are just another modern-day take on the idea of love.
The dating marketplace is not a cheaper version of love but more like an upgraded one.
It comes with its share of courage, thrills, frustration, anger, and all the other emotions that we often associate with the concept of love.
How do these apps work?
The dating sites arrange the candidates based on age, education, appearance, and interests. In addition, some of these sites deal with the concept of match tests.
Here similar candidates are put into one category and are matched amongst each other. Critics state that this highly systemized version of finding love online eliminates the thrill that comes with finding someone opposite to you.
That is one of the most exciting experiences, but they are deprived of it once these dating apps come into their lives.
Contrary to this, Nina argues that even in real life, we use a filtering app that is our subconscious. More often than not, based on our ideas or thinking, we create these qualities in our heads and filter people based on that. These include appearance or education, which is not very different from what these dating apps do.
It is a romantic contract
It is no news that when we sign up on a dating site, we intend to find the perfect partner. It is the core reason we work under assumptions because we meet a stranger in a completely controlled environment and interact with them.
In such a situation, each of the involved people is expected to play a certain kind of role. And along with this, they are expected to fulfill that kind of role till the very end.
The whole idea is different from showing up for a job interview with an impressive resume and your best skill set. In the same way, people tend to subconsciously behave this way in an online dating match as well. It is human nature to act in a way that is linked to learned behavior.
Our learned behavior is that we must show up on time, give our best, and impress everyone with our skills, which is why many people behave similarly on an online dating site.
Online dating apps have been accused of betraying the concept of love altogether. Although this may seem like an exaggerated accusation, Nina Varsava says this is not entirely wrong either.
She also adds that whether the relationships occur through dating apps or conventional methods, the general nature of the connections is pretty much the same.
All these relationships comprise the same promises and agreements. And such an idea is not just limited to the use of online dating services.
If we think about it, even in our lives offline, we look for affection and crave it. T is why we seek attention through actions or gestures because we want to be noticed or feel validated by others. In an offline relationship, both partners agree to contribute to the other, which is healthier than an online option.
Nina Varsava adds that love itself as a concept cannot be reinvented. It is what it is, and its course cannot be changed because it is natural.
However, with time, since humans have evolved, other ideas have evolved, including the concept of love. Therefore, it is essential to growing with it, to keep up with the needs of the people.
Varsava further adds that dating apps promise a risk-free love and promote false advertising, which is a setback to their business.
But they do not risk the concept of love that the Western world itself has chalked out. The idea of love is a very vivid explanation because it means different things to different people.
And these dating sites just further distort the concept even more.
Whatever the case may be, these dating apps are a whole new world waiting to come to light by users all over the world. They might bring some good into society, but so far, we do not love them. Pun intended.
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